We hate you because you come in with your kids 10 minutes before we close, eat in the shop, then leave with a huge mess in the booth you were sitting in.
We hate you because you throw items at us, demand we wrap them for your kid’s friend’s shitty birthday, and then refuse to tip us even though we spent 10 minutes making it look cute and didn’t charge you for it.
We hate you because you come into a nearly empty restaurant ten minutes before close and jokingly say, “Where is everybody?” They’re at home not being assholes.
We hate you because you let your children walk all over the booths and we have to spend five minutes straight scrubbing the black crud off them.
We hate you because you throw tantrums when you forget your coupons at home and we won’t just give you the discount “just this once”.
We hate you because you’ve been sitting in the drive-thru for a minute or two already, but only when you reach the window do you reach into the back seat to pull out your huge purse.
We hate you because your ability to read and understand signs disappear when you walk into our store.
We hate you because when we mention our speaker is crappy because corporate won’t fix it, you get irritated that you have to turn off your car.
We hate you because you let your
spawn children pick their nose and put their bodily fluids everywhere.
We hate you because you don’t know what a rebate is, and get all incredulous when we explain to you that it is NOT just a sale.